Google's Gone Rogue

My mom sat at her computer one March night, instant-messaging her (non-Google-moderated) bridge club friends about a plan to overthrow Google. Since 2029, Google had become a totalitarian dictatorship, threatening and murdering people if they did not acknowledge Google superiority. As she typed “Thank goodness Arnold Santiago is dead...” she heard a rat-a-tat-tat! on the door--I was so frightened! But when they said “Open up or we'll gas you!”, she opened the door so quickly the hinges made an ominous schiiiick. As soon as the door opened, her crazy Lab/golden mix, Emily, dashed out so quickly that she knocked the Google secret police right through the rickety porch railing and into the pond, no more than four yards down a steep slope. They got out cursing. “Guess we won't be able to convert her...she's gonna remain Latter Day Saint...” “she's better off that way anyway..less *%$#@ stupid...”

Back at the house, Linda called Emily into the living room and then triumphantly chanted “GOOGLE IS HIDEOUS! GOOGLE IS HIDEOUS!” for fully ten minutes straight.

But there was more. Those &%$@(*@ secret police had dye-marked her house and were coming back. She painted it over and then locked herself in her room with Emily's tattered copy of Home Security For Dogs. About midnight I heard the lock open and saw her sneaking around the house, carrying a Mag-lite. She finally went to bed at 5 a.m. with a satisfied smile on her face and a spring in her step.

The next morning the secret police wanted to find the house but couldn't- “I swear that dye marker was there last time”...”dash my wig and whiskers if 71203 didn't paint it over...”it's supposed to bleed through...how come it didn't?... ”

After two hours they gave up.

March 15, 2060

Jane Andersen (Not Identified, No IP)